The Most Popular Boys in School

"The Most Popular Boys in School" is the 4th episode of The Most Popular Girls in School.

Plot
In the male locker room at Overland Park High School, football jocks Matthew Derringer and Tanner Christiansen stand together, naked and covered only by their bath towels around their waists, talking, and the former relates his version of the story of how he and Trisha Cappelletti got together: "And she was all like, 'no, you are', and then I was all like, 'no, you are', and then she was all like, 'I kind of am'. So, long story short... she's kinda my mouth date now." Tanner admires his muscled arms and comments that he is so good at football, and Justin Michaelson, who'd been standing behind them, points out that they're all pretty good at football. Blaine joins in, adding that that's why that year they are going to State. The four football players all start chanting "State, State" in unison, repeatedly, as they walk in a circle and move their arms up and down. "State, huh?" Jonathan Getslinhaumer says as he leans against a stall's door, "More like, 'gay'." Annoyed at the sight of him, Tanner asks Jonathan who let him in there, to which the blond with sunglasses replies, "Not much." Tanner is confused at his response, and Jonathan explains that he thought the brunet was gonna ask what he was looking at, to which he'd say, "Not much." After an awkward silence, Jonathan asks if Tanner is gonna say what he thought he would, which Tanner denies, saying, "No, Jonathan." The blond tells him the name's not "Jonathan", and Justin asks if he is gonna try to nickname himself again, prompting Jonathan to say that the name is "Than". Matthew asks what kind of name "Than" is, and Than explains that it's like "Jonathan", only shorter. Tanner wonders why he wouldn't just go by "Jon", to which Than blurts out that he doesn't go by their rules. Blaine comments that that's dumber than that time in the third grade when he tried getting everyone to call him "Uncle Jesse". Than claims that that would have worked if they'd just agreed to call themselves "The Rippers", but Matthew orders him to stop trying to force his Full House references on them, because he's the only person who gets those. Than tells him, "Fuck you", to which Matt replies, "Suck my dick", only to be caught off-guard when Than says, "Okay." Matthew is confused, and Than tells him to "drop trou" and he'll suck his dick. Matthew explains himself, saying that was an expression, not an invitation, and being backed up by his friends, but Than says that he'll suck all their dicks, they can just push them together like a sandwich. He then pretends to barf down on them, making eating noises, finishing it off by saying he's hungry for lunch. Matthew is disgusted, and Justin reminds Than of what they told him last week: if he watches them showering again, they'll tell Principal Nubbins. Than says that, in that case, Justin can pop off his towel and play with his butthole a little bit. Matthew jumps back in, making it clear that Jonathan is not gonna suck any of their dicks or play with any of their buttholes.

Than then says they can see who the real man is there, which prompts Blaine to raise his hand and state that he's a real man and he's not afraid. He moves towards Than, and his friends are forced to hold him back. Blaine then asks Than if he's inferring that because he's willing to do stuff to their butts it proves he's more of a man than they are. Than tells him he's not saying anything... he's just saying. Tanner adds that the only thing he's saying he's that he's gay. Than automatically fires back that Tanner is gay, which the latter confirms, confusing him. Tanner confirms that he is gay, and all his friends nod at this, confirming it as well. As Blaine says that they had an assembly about it, Matthew points out that Tanner has been in a gay monogamous relationship for a long time, and they accept him. The two do a high-five as Tanner thanks his friend, and Than is left to babble. Annoyed, Tanner asks "Jon" if they are done there, and says he's going to shower. Than stops them and asks if it'd be weird if he joined them for a shower, and Matthew feigns a decision to take a poll: he votes "no", as do Justin and Tanner, but Blaine, ever so dumb, starts to say that he believes in giving people the benefit of the doubt, but his friends jump in and force him to say "no" as well. Than says "yes", but is obviously outnumbered, leaving him frustrated. Justin points out that they all just finished football practice and smell terrible, and Matthew adds that Than on the other hand has just been hanging out in the boys' locker room, not doing much of anything. Blaine points out that the only other person who does that is Coach Spitz, prompting the coach to pop his head up from behind a stall's door and telling them to carry on, between grunts, indicating that he might be masturbating as all this takes place. The guys remove their towels and head for the showers, but Than stops them with one last question: "How come Matthew Derringer doesn't have a penis or testicles?" Self-aware, Matt explains that he wasn't born with any. Annoyed, Tanner tells Than this is offensive, and that he asks them that every week. Than again asks why he doesn't have them, to which Justin replies that it's a congenital birth defect, before they head off as Blaine tells Than not to be a dick and Matt says, "Unbelievable". Than is left crying by himself, against the cubicle's door, saying to himself that it's reasons like this why he doesn't have any friends. "Hey, man", Matt calls out to him, apparently in a sympathetic tone, prompting Than to look behind him, but then the black guy finishes his thought by saying, "Don't you dare look at our butts", making Than cry even more profusely.

Trivia

 * This episode introduces the characters of Matthew Derringer, Tanner Christiansen, Justin Michaelson and Coach Spitz, all of whom had been previously mentioned, directly or indirectly, as well as the character of Jonathan "Than" Getslinhaumer. It also marks the first time that future unseen character Principal Nubbins is mentioned.