Bring Me Everyone

"Bring Me Everyone" is the 59th episode of The Most Popular Girls in School, as well as its fourth season premiere.

Plot
Cue the most popular girls in school. The Overland Park High School cheerleaders walk down the hallway, and Mackenzie Zales takes a stop to breathe in, with relief and contentment. Trisha Cappelletti promptly asks her if she's okay, which Mackenzie confirms, explaining that she's just taking a moment to soak it all in, the fact that this is the first time in months that they've walked into school without having some kind of competition to win or some kind of enemy to overcome, adding that Shay Van Buren is even on the cheer squad. "Hell yeah I am," Shay immediately lets out, "I'm the head cheerleader." Mackenzie goes on to say all of their enemies have been defeated and they've won literally every championship and competition there is to win, and they can finally just sit back and enjoy these last two weeks of junior year. Trisha 2 takes the opportunity to ask why she's the only senior at their school, and Trisha relates that their entire senior class got mono a couple months before the former transferred. Trisha 2 gasps with shock, and Trisha adds that it happened a few weeks before prom this year, which was bad. Mackenzie says it doesn't even matter because that year's seniors sucked anyway, and Shay adds that apparently they were also very slutty. They all continue walking as Mackenzie says none of that is important, and starts suggesting that they just get through the next few weeks without any more petty bullshit. As soon as they turn a corner, however, Mackenzie blurts out, "Oh my...! Fuck me with my own fist!" as she notices that their lockers have been smashed in and vandalized with spray-painted curse words. The word "Bitch" can be seen on Shay's locker, the word "Cunt" on Mackenzie's, and the word "Whore" on Saison Margeurite's, even though she doesn't understand right away what it means. The words "You're cool" can be found on Trisha's undented locker door, which she claims to be nice, and on Trisha 2's locker she can read, "I don't really know you enough to properly pass judgment, but you're kind of annoying already so for now let's just say you're on thin ice." She says she'll take it, gleefully. Revolted, Shay asks what this is about, and she turns to Mackenzie and reminds her that she said everything was cool. Mackenzie confirms that everything is cool, and wonders who could have done this. Trisha puts one hand over her friend's shoulder and reminds her they have made a lot of enemies over the past year. Shay ponders about the scenario at hand, which appears to be familiar, and asks Mackenzie if it reminds her of something. Mackenzie rants that it reminds her of the fact that the school fucking sucks and everyone in it is the fucking worst and nobody there can let her have any happiness in her life for one single, solitary motherfucking day. Shay takes the opportunity to point out that being in the cheer squad hasn't paid off like she thought it would. Saison finally concludes that the word on her locker means "prostitute", and then appears glum and says that's not nice. Mackenzie orders Trisha to go find Brittnay and tell her what's going on. She then turns to Shay and orders her to get "everyone". Shay asks what she means by "everyone", and Mackenzie just repeats, roaring, "Everyone!"

Soon enough, a plethora of former enemies and rivals of the cheer squad has been assembled in a classroom: Rachel Tice, Judith Dinsmore, Jenna Dapananian, Ashley Katchadourian and the Cher Guy. Deandra soon shows up and makes it clear that she's been called over under the pretext of getting pie yet again, so she swears to Mackenzie that if she gets fucked over again she's gonna regret it. Mackenzie immediately points at a piece of pie on a desk, and Deandra walks over to it, thanks her and picks it up, proceeding to eat it right away. Mackenzie then addresses her audience as "cuntholes" and relates that she knows some of the things she's done to them might have angered them in the past - "Like calling us 'cuntholes'?" Judith asks, which Mackenzie confirms - but that does not mean they can go around destroying other people's property. "Oh, you mean like arms?" Deandra inquires, raising up both her prosthetic limbs "We don't go around destroying other people's arms?" "Or relationships?" Ashley adds; "Or friends' lives?" Rachel jumps in. Shay steps in and says they get it, Mackenzie Zales fucking sucks and they're all in agreement there. The entire audience nods in agreement. Mackenzie thanks Shay ironically, to which the blonde nonchalantly replies, "You're welcome, bitch." The brunette then turns to the sitting students and asks who the fuck smashed their lockers, first calling out Deandra's name. The latter rages, wondering why she's the most likely suspect, and in her fit she throws her desk over thanks to her strong robot arm. This leads her to realize why they would think it was her who did it, but it wasn't her. Ashley says it wasn't her either because she frankly doesn't give a fuck about them anymore. Jenna Dapananian says they're all basically tired of the cheerleaders' bullshit, and while they're all glad their lockers got fucked up, none of them had anything to do with it. Judith suggests that they all go drink a "nice, tall glass of 'go fuck yourselves'", which irates Mackenzie. "How dare you?" she asks, and then calls for her enforcer, Brittnay, only to realize she's still not there. She wonders where Brittnay and Trisha are, but then turns her attention to the audience again and tells them they better watch what they say to her. Annoyed, Rachel asks her what she's gonna do - "Concoct an elaborate scheme to blackmail us and have us shipped off to prison where we can get shived?" The redhead stands up and continues, ironically, "I'm sorry your fucking locker got all smashed up, but thanks to you my friend is starring in the new season of Orange Is the New Black!" She then mocks Mackenzie and ends up shouting at her to knock it off, for she is bitching about a locker while her friend Jenna is being treated like a pin cushion in the big house. The Cher Guy gets up to leave and tells the other audience members that they don't need this. As they get out, Shay commends them on a good talk and apologizes for her "shitty friend", then saying they'll let them know how this turns out, finishing with her trademark prolonged "Bye". Rachel comes up to them and says, "You don't get it, Mackenzie, do you?" Frustrated, the brunette asks the redhead what she wants now, and Rachel asks them if this all doesn't seem a bit familiar, like it all happened before, a long time ago. Shay gets what she means, and Rachel says "it's fucking back", thanks to Mackenzie, who went back on her word. Rachel adds that the evil that they have worked so hard to control has been let loose by Mackenzie, who brought it right back to their doorstep. She concludes by saying she hopes it was worth it, because Mackenzie fucked them all. The bell rings and Rachel wonders if that was the second bell or the first one; confused, she leaves, saying she's gotta go and shouting at Judith to "slow the fuck down". Shay and Mackenzie realize what Rachel meant, and Mackenzie, further frustrated, starts condemning herself for what she did...

Brittnay Matthews is seen inside a girls' bathroom in the school, dressed in military clothes with war paint on her cheeks, and wielding a baseball bat and spray-paint can, which she has just used to graffiti the walls, slandering Mackenzie. Trisha rushes in, thankful to have found her friend, and immediately tells her that someone destroyed their lockers, but the blonde cuts her off, saying it was her who did it. Trisha is surprised and confused, and Mackenzie immediately calls her over the phone. Trisha answers and tells her to guess who destroyed their lockers, to which Mackenzie responds right away that it was Brittnay. Trisha comments that that's a really good guess, and Mackenzie tells her to listen very closely and asks her if she's with Brittnay right now. Trisha answers positively in a carefree tone just as Brittnay smashes and unhinges the bathroom stall doors behind her with the baseball bat. Mackenzie tells Trisha that Brittnay's really pissed off with them and she might be dangerous; Trisha finally notices what Brittnay is doing and tells her friend over the phone that she might be right about that. Brittnay asks if that's Mackenzie on the phone, and Trisha answers negatively, out of fear, saying it's her mom, and then pretends to be talking to her mother, saying she's gotta go because she's in the girls' bathroom (hinting at where she is to Mackenzie) and she's pooping... a lot. She hangs up, but not before saying "Please come save me" in a low tone. Brittnay asks again if it was Mackenzie, and Trisha denies this, repeating that it was her mom, and adding that Mackenzie never calls, she texts. She then begs Brittnay not to kill her, and the blonde says she'd never hurt her, for she is her friend and she has no reason to be mad at her. Trisha sighs with relief, and starts explaing that Mackenzie though... and Brittnay immediately interrupts her, saying that Mackenzie Zales is dead to her. Trisha finally understands what's going on - as best she can - and Brittnay says that Mackenzie is the lowest form of life that exists on this planet and for the last eight years she has taken her shit and she is fucking done with it. "She thinks she's so great with her cheer squad, her homecoming queen, her fucking modeling career..." Trisha reminds her she's only a part-time model, and Brittnay blurts out that she's nothing: "She's nothing but a worthless, backstabbing little cunt who has fucked me over for the last time." She then suggests that Trisha get away from her before she fucks her too, right in the ass. Trisha says that doesn't sound fun. Brittnay then says that the next time she sees Mackenzie, she can tell her that she broke her word and let her know that the vengeful blonde is coming for her, and for once she's not gonna be the one that's getting fucked in their butthole. Brittnay exits the bathroom and Trisha appears conflicted, claiming she's gotten herself into a real pickle this time: on one hand, she's got her old friend Brittnay, who's been a true friend and always treated her fairly, on the other hand... She's not allowed to finish her thought because Mackenzie storms in, accompanied by Shay, and immediately screaming at Trisha for apparently having let Brittnay go. Trisha confirms this, and says Brittnay was really angry, and she said something about coming for her and a butthole and Mackenzie having broken her word - she didn't really get what she was talking about. Shay says that Trisha wouldn't get it, because she wasn't there... Trisha asks where she was not, and Mackenzie tells her, "You weren't there... in the third grade."